i dun wan be a bad bf but how can i choose!!

if i hope you results good you will left me
if i hope you result bad i will become a bad ppl
how can i do??!!!
only can see you left me??T.T
my heart so pain
unspeakable
but i only i choose
         is!! hope you happy any you like i will support you do
i scare i will lose in this game LOVE!! but i don't want to happen..hope just a dream and just i think more
2 year half for study i can wait but you???